Normally when I write here about a Transformers character, it’s a character who has some significance to me as – well, honestly, as an example of a kind of person I could be, growing up. Blades gave me a lesson about quelling the want for violence inside me and also how defensive violent bf /softboy medic bf was a top tier pairing, and Dinobot gave me lessons about dying well in the face of oblivion, a lesson that I thought I needed really soon when I got it. There are Transformers I love because of jokes, Transformers I love because of association with toys and there are some Transformers that I love because they are, through no fault of their own, completely useless doofuses.
Let’s talk about Wheeljack
Wheeljack is an OG Transformer. Not only was he present in the original TV series, he was the first ever Transformer to be animated, the first one to appear on a cell and the first one to say or do anything. Wheeljack was also in this privileged position because he was from an earlier time, an earlier toyline, one of the diaclone toys that needed minimal changes to come on over. And not only was this the 1980s but this was a Japanese toy from the 1970s, so his toy was a really nice model that was also, coincidentally, made largely out of die-cast metal and had all sorts of lovely detailing and stickers that you could use to show how good you were at putting on stickers unless you were a fumble handed gallumphus like myself.
Don’t worry, I never had a Wheeljack, but I knew someone who did, and that toy was nice.
Anyway, Wheeljack as a character was one of the huge cast of Transformers who got a personality written up in what feels in hindsight like filling out a spreadsheet, where the writer got a picture of a character and had to devise a name and personality for them and keep moving, while also doing everything they could to keep them from overlapping with one another, which, of course, they did. Did you know that Grimlock (A t-rex) and Fortress Maximus (a city) and Brawl (a little guy about the size of a VW bug) are all listed as the strongest Autobot? Making sense of these original bios was like digging through Biblical harmonisation, but at least Transformers admit they’re making stuff up.
Anyway, Wheeljack got given the personality up front of being a crackpot mad scientist working for the good guys, which meant you took an archetype normally full of potential malice and potential goofiness and then just stripped out all the malice. Wheeljack in G1 was a guy who would invent things, and those things would have to be useful to pretty much only anyone in exactly one episode. This meant Wheeljack was either solving the problem of the episode by techno-babbling up a device that would fix it, or causing the problem of the episode by techno-babbling up a device that unfixed something, and sometimes both.
Wheeljack served a good, steadfast, mechanical role in the story of the show and to that end he hung around a lot. He also had a really easy face to animate – rather than flap a mouth or move a visor, his face lit up when he was talking, which meant you just changed its colour. Real convenient, real nice when you wanted to have him talk at length.
But this is just ‘why Wheeljack showed up a lot,’ it’s not by any means an explanation as to why I liked Wheeljack. What I like about Wheeljack is instead something created in the negative space of the character by what the people making it didn’t intend to do.
Here’s how it cooks out. First of all, Wheeljack is an inventor who is memorably depicted screwing up and eating dirt, regularly. He’s an inventor but it’s easy to feel like his hit rate is half and half, and a bunch of the things he makes have the weirdest solutions to them and ways they work. It’s not true in the comics, mind you, those are written a bit less for, y’know, four year olds in the 1980s, but the ‘crackpot inventor’ element sticks around.
The other thing is that Wheeljack’s disguise sucks.
It’s not that he doesn’t look like a car, he sure does look like a car! But Wheeljack doesn’t turn into ‘a car.’ Wheeljack turns into a sports car.
Well, so what you may say, it’s not like sports cars are that rare.
And then I go, he turns into a Lancia Stratos
And you’d interrupt me, comically, — Well, okay, no you wouldn’t, you’d say what and I’m embellishing for the bit — and say, hey, no no, see, you’ve got a specific name for it, a model, that means it got made in some degree of mass production,
And I respond with yeah, we know how many of his type of Lancia Stratos got made. He’s the Group 5 Lancia Stratos. He has specific racing regalia on him for sponsor material. Because he didn’t copy ‘a car’, he copied a race ready Lancia Stratos Group 5. There were only 500 Lancia Stratos made, and only a small number of them – like, less than ten – were ever put into racing colours, and then they were deomissioned. Imagine if while trying to blend into a location you picked the disguise of ‘recognisable celebrity,’ or maybe tried to blend in at the zoo as an endangered animal of which they knew they only had two. This means Wheeljack was in a position to scan the Lancia Stratos Group 5 (which wasn’t run in many races after it failed!) and then drove around after it left!
It plays into the way that his inventions seemed to fail a lot, or seemed to work in weird ways. It depicts a person who has somehow a skillset that’s suited to making big, impressive, technically challenging accomplishments and not a goddamn lick of sense about what he can do with it. This is a guy who can invent a teleportation machine and his idea of how to use it to solve the war is to let humans move more quickly to and from the base to update them on what the Decepticons are doing. This is a guy who makes a blender with a frappe setting that retasks a satellite. This is a guy whose first appearance on screen is using a machine he built that then immediately backfires and sets the tone for him for the rest of his life.
Wheeljack is one of my favourite Transformers, but only in the way that I love to watch the way fans talk about him, because of the beautiful alignment of super genius and fantastic idiot.