If I were Peter Molyneux 10

A puzzle platformer in the vein of classic Super Mario Bros, in which our protaganist arrives on the scene just in time to see a gigantic ape fleeing the scene with a princess tucked under its arm. Our Hero chases after the gorilla, going through a variety of higher locations, and each time he gets close, said gorilla leaps away, taking with it its princessly prize.

Halfway through the game, the gorilla stops short with the princess under its arm – and the hero sees that it is not, in fact a princess, but is a large squash vegetable, curved like a woman’s shape wearing a frilly pink dress. The hero continues to chase after the gorilla and strives to rescue the squash anyway. There is no punchline. The end of the story is the hero kissing the squash on the stalk and embracing it joyously.

Another concept, for a platformer with stealth and combat elements, in which the game opens with a male hero in a prison cell, looking through the bars across the hall at the princess he’s here to rescue. In flashback, it’s shown how he got here – and how he succesfully broke into the prison. Any time a villain encounters him while he’s sneaking in, they just try and kill him, rather than capture him.

Arc 2 of the game begins when she gets there. She points out that she was working on her own exit, and Arc 2 is about her breaking the male protaganist out. Arc 3 is the pair of them working together, where the boy is a sneaky rogue and the princess a lady of war with a sword.

Also, this was pretty good, in a simple, anodyne, academic way. If you’re not aware of what ‘Damsel In Distress’ means, or why academic study matters.

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