What the Halal

My fucking country, I swear to god.

Okay, so I’m used to bogan asshole idiots talking shit about Halal like it’s a personal invasion of their space. I mean, Australia has never been a country shy of talking shit about things it doesn’t understand, hence our hardcore stance of fear about boat people and lack of fear about anthrogenic climate change. I even associate with religious fundamentalists, which is to say, my family and their friends, who are not shy about the occasional offhanded complaints about ‘halal meat.’

Hearing today that a government backbencher felt that it was somehow acceptable to open their mouth and let this sort of stupid fall out is embarassing for the society and vile for that person. Look, mate, I get it, you’re scared of brown people and it’s much easier for you to be re-elected if everyone’s scared of brown people


I have some basic caution about my government ministers saying things that are pretty much not true. It happens all the time these days but we can at least notice it and talk about it, like I’m doing now. So the argument is that Halal Food might fund Islamic Extremists. Which is true! It is true that it is possible for that to happen. For example, a Halal certification requires at least one person paid to be an expert in Halal food preparation and food inspection, which probably means they’re a Muslim (but, you know, not necessarily), and that means that that Muslim person was probably paid for their expertise (but again, not necessarily), and that means somewhere in Australia, there is money in the pocket of a Muslim person. That person may therefore wind up deciding at some point to send some of their money, which they earned, to some cause like, oh, I don’t know, helping Syrian refugees, and that might lead to supplies that are then stolen by ISIS, and don’t you see how the sticker on your Vegemite has now fuelled global terrorism?!

Meanwhile, my taxes pay the salary of a man who invokes Jesus as an excuse to send refugees to be murdered by religious extremists, thanks to the efforts of the United States creating one of the most dangerous power vacuums in the middle east.

Ideally, when you do this kind of comparison, you do it with a snappy punchline, but all I got is this:

Go Fuck Yourself, Nationals MP George Christensen.

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