Photographic Nervousness

When I take a photograph, I find myself feeling nervous if I’m not comfortable appearing in the photo. I’m not talking about taking a selfie, I’m talking about just feeling nervous if I’m taking a photo of anything. As if I can’t photograph the sunrise if I’m not wearing pants and a shirt, like somehow the gross and slimy distensions of my ghoulish human frame will intrude on the frame of the camera, even if I point its winking eye as opposite to myself as I could. It’s this weird combination of ego and shame – surely, somehow, I would become a presence in this picture, despite that being a technical impossibility, and at the same time, what horror that would be to show myself to a camera without adequate drapery over the blood-and-meat transportation framework that is my body.

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