I Am Not Good At SEO

This year roughly 1,691 times, a search engine – usually google, often Google.de and weirdly often, Bing – brought someone to my website and thanks to the miracle of Jetpack I’m able to know what, some of the time, people had bothered to type into a search bar to find me. Now in this time of summaries at the end of the year, I dived into this list to see if there was any data I could glean on this and


look. This is a pile of weird.

First things first, Death Note is, without a doubt the subject people most often trust my expertise on. Search terms like Death note is bad, why death note is bad, is death note good (no), everything wrong with death note, how good is death note, death note : is it good or bad, death note criticism, death note is terrible, things wrong with death note, death note is good or bad, death note is awful, why death note is good, death note sucks, is death note a bad show, how bad is death note, death note pretentious, why is death note bad, death note is light good or bad, reasons why death note is bad, and bad things about death note all showed up and that’s fucking weird considering that of all the stuff I’ve put out there, I’ve written about Death Note once.

A year ago.

What the fuck.

Note that this means my Death Note post is the first hit on a google search for ‘death note bad.’ This is how you do Search Engine Optimisation, folks!

There’s also a lot of searching for sex, and sexx and sexxy, most of which is split across a lot of single-entry searches. That, I can blame on two factors: One, I did write an article called High School Sexx Education, which I personally think is quite good, and two, there was a sex-workers rights activist in San Fransisco going by Talen Lee, so it’s possible there’s some crossed wires trying to find their old work. That’s not me, sorry.

Still, know what else shows up a lot? Searches like value of old australian $20 notes, how much is an old john tebutt 100 dollar bill worth, australian money $100 in 2015, australia ten dollar note, $50 australian, and why was francis greenway put on the $10 note. These tickle me, because they relate back to my Values Of A Dollar pieces, where I discuss the $5, the $10, the $20, the $50 and $100 bills in Australian currency, and why they’re good and I like them.

That said there’s always going to be some weird shit, so here, presented as if there is some sense to be read in them, is a list form that has been randomised to represent some sort of strange interpretable poem:

wonderboy exe
does nintendo blame team ninja for other m
hi shcol sexx
bagel hacks
why do you bark on okami
shkol sexx
republicans are assholes
“shantae” “sexy” “bellydancing”
fuck a cd spindle
www.talen girl com

Thank you for your time.