Once, I used to think holding the door for a lady was important.
A little while after that, I was taught ‘feminists’ hated it, so it was even more important to do it.
A while after that, I learned that it was a bit patronising unless you did it to everyone.
A while after that, I spoke with an enby who was intimidated when it happened – because it meant someone was standing behind em.
I think about this a lot. It’s one of those strange selfconsciousnesses that seize me. Am I making peoples’ days worse by holding the door for them? Am I making them uncomfortable by not? Either way… I do my best to take care. Look to people’s reactions – and for fuck’s sake, don’t get huffy and uppity if people don’t appreciate your gesture. You are a few seconds in a strangers’ day, don’t get wound up about it.