Has Disconnected ()

I wonder if
When he signed off
For the last time
Before the trip to school
Before the truck
Before the crash
He thought of me
It’s selfish to wonder
We were close, but not so close
The few weeks around that last day
That last message
I’d not been speaking much
Focusing on a different series
And now I don’t really care for it at all
But I miss him

I wonder if
When they deleted the account
And they disappeared
To move on with their life
To focus on the radio
Or their degree
Or the other MMO –
That one I didn’t play –
If they thought of me
It’s a strange thing
To feel a friendship not break
Severed not by screams and misdeeds
But just disappear.

A year after she’d gone, I sent her a message.
‘I miss you,’ I said.
‘I know I wasn’t the best friend
But I didn’t forget about you
and if you’re hiding now
Because you’re embarassed
Or I did something wrong
Please tell me.’
It was never answered.

There are some who have drifted away
Some who I have hurt and who left
Some who are no more, not anywhere
And there are some who stay

It’s a hard thing to speak of
The impossible ache of losing
Something that you didn’t have
And the powerlessness from knowing
You might just have been outgrown

I hope
For those that still are
They’re all okay.

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