Getting it, Eventually

Content Warning: Ruminating on Covid.

It seems the mindset right now is that everyone’s going to get Covid.

I haven’t gotten it, but more and more I see the people around me and in media I see mentioning ‘oh yeah, I got the thing, that’s how it is, oh well, I have stuff to do and I’m going to take it easy and not worry about it, please do not get freaked out.’

This is the next stage of the thing, right? Now it’s everywhere, now there’s no hope of containment, so it’s just about living with it, and everyone has to get their heads in the space of ‘well, I guess this is just going to knock me out for ten days.’ We get used to the idea of it being a thing that can happen, and that means… it’s a thing that can happen.

I appreciate that anyone whose job is basically a constant content grind – you know, youtubers and all – are going to be supremely messed up by that, especially if they’re relying on the ad revenue from the site, the least useful thing to have is a period of ten or so days away from the ability to put content out. It’s got to suck, so I understand putting something out that both works as an apology (‘sorry I didn’t provide more content’) and also is itself a kind of content.

It nags at my mind a little.

It nags at my mind a little because I haven’t even felt like I may have it.

It nags at my mind because it means I have two competing paranoias alongside each other: One, that all my precautions have been excessive, and all the stuff I did to deprive people of my presence or to deny them physical comfort during the past two years was unnecessary because I was already barely a vector, but also, it was the conscientiousness of strangers that kept me safe (and therefore the people I bring food).

It is a feeling of helplessness and stupidity that has to be fought back with the understanding that I’m doing the best practices and at worst, these things also improved things for people in general.

Maybe mentioning it breaks my ‘touch wood’ policy and it’ll turn out I get it the day this goes live. That’d be ironic, and suck, and also suck.

EDIT: It did wind up being two days after I got another booster, at least.

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