Decemberween 2022: Fox!
“Eat shit, love of my life!”
What else could I write about today?
This has not been a nice year for Fox. There’s been some losses and some setbacks, and I try not to talk about other people’s stuff going on in their lives here. Especially since this is Decemberween, which is a celebration. I nonetheless want to bring up that this is a year that has featured some immense challenges for Fox, and I’ve been there watching her coping with them and overcoming them. And you know, it’s trite, it’s a familiar thing, hey, Fox had something hard and I was so impressed watching her overcome it, she’s so brave, she’s so whatever, I don’t mean to dwell on that as if overcoming adversity is something she’s doing to impress me.
But.
This has also been a year of people embracing the term goblin mode and when they do that, they are carrying with them the spirit of Fox, who has been full time goblin for many a year. It’s nice to see people celebrating the urge of someone who wants to huddle in blankets and cause problems on purpose.
And… that was all I was going to say.
I was going to let that go, and let the rest of it be something of a mystery. You know, challenges and all.
Fox is a woman who lives her life on the internet. The fundamental nature of her art is to make, with her hand, on a digital interface. Fox makes code by typing and she draws with her hands. This year, Fox had to confront that multiple pandemic years coupled with reduced mobility had given her tennis elbow and now, her ability to write, code, and draw, are all curtailed and needs to have a set of interruptions. And when your hands become a thing you need to care for, you’re going to be surprised how often you forget that your hands are vulnerable. This year has been full of moments where Fox starts doing something, I notice, ask if she wants help and she realises what she’s doing endangers her hands (that she’s meant to be giving a chance to recover!) and there’s a little ‘ahahah, oh shit’ moment.
This year, Fox contacted the government to make sure they got her status correct. Do you know how big a deal that is? The Australian public support system is so much better than the American ones that you complain about, but also, it is absolutely designed to make you feel ashamed and humiliated and stop using it ASAP. Fox put her head down and made a call to people who she knew were going to make her life harder and…
I don’t know if you can understand how heroic that is.
And I talked to her about it, and she’s okay with me talking about it.
Because Fox is braver than I am and stronger than I am and I am shocked at the things she’s okay baring to the world at times. She’s been learning about guitars, rebuilding server systems, making virtual tabletops, even streamed for a while this year as she tried to get into a particular habit. And all of this while she was struggling with pain in her arms and hands!
Fox is great, and I love her, and every Christmas, I take the opportunity to remind her that she is, and has given me, a gift.