These past few months I’ve been stewing on the idea of ethical jealousy. There’s this notion that’s been haunting the world of criticism, pretty much since the dawn of the webcomic era, that the work of the critic is echoed with the notional frailty of jealousy. Anyone who examines a creative work, there’s always something of an assumption, is doing it out of a sadness at their own inability to create such a thing themselves.
Now I don’t think that jealousy is never a factor in criticism but I think it is very much not the factor people think it is. In my case, specifically, though, I do know there are times when I swallow jealousy at a work. I don’t really do long-form critiques of some things, knowing that I can’t trust myself to separate my envy of the work from the work.
I don’t think that everything we think of as a vice has to be seen that way. I don’t think I have to see the wish, the yearning to have done something, to be able to do something, as an evil. It’s, in a way, a valuing – I can see the value in that thing, and wish that I had had some hand in it. A healthier way, a more ideal way, would be to see the creation and its existence as worthy, in and of itself – but I see the admission of envy, the acceptance of jealousy, to be in part a step towards that more blessed autumnal state.
And so, when I see myself jealous, I admit it; I accept it; and I seek to not let that jealousy corrode my appreciation, but in its admission, be disempowered. Do not let that you want become a poison that depletes your ability to appreciate what a thing is.
Blog news, we had a daily blog post. My backlog dipped low but I brought it back up again. We had our regular segments – Weekly MTG, Game Pile and Story Pile. Of my April articles I’m most proud of my write-up of Planescape Torment, my hypothesis on Bright, and my guide on writing a Light Novel. The Light Novel jam has another month so if you want to get onto it, hey, you can do that!
We had another shirt design, or rather, we had four.
These four Harry Potter designs, Basic, Extra, Boring and Evil are inspired from a multimedia franchise that I’m pretty sure has no legitimate reason to actually sue me.
I launched a game, again, Downspout this time. Here at Invincible Ink, and here at DriveThruCards. It’s like PVP Pipe-Dream!
My video project got snarled up a bit, so I didn’t make the two videos I was hoping to make – a history of the Ur-Quan and an episode of Making Fun – but instead, I put together a final capstone video of me playing The Swindle. I’m thinking I’ll move on to playing Dishonored 2 again next, since I can’t get Fox readily to commentate on it.
On a life side of things, classes and work finally got sorted out to the point I had a stable work situation. I had a birthday, I got some nice new knives, and I got to grade some of my students’ cool ideas for making games. I read a bunch of books for my degree and I wrote a bunch about them too. I also wrote about my PhD thesis idea, here.
Someone I know, Andi McClure, traditionally avoids online presences entirely on April 1. The idea is to treat the internet as something to occasionally avoid, to deactivate and best examine the world in light of separation from that common and nearly-essential service. The day, April 1, is a really good day to avoid using the internet, because it’s a day that most things that connect to the internet try to use to lie to you.
To this end, I have this expression of a promise: I’m not going to do anything silly on April 1st. I think I generally try and be funny most of the time, and treating April 1 as some sort of big deal time for Corporate Branded Whackiness just tends to lead to things that are more annoying than actually funny.
Of course, you’re probably reading this on March 31st, because America is in the past. Bear in mind any news you see tomorrow might be just nonsense.
Hey, here’s the end of March – and now how’d that go?
As before, we had a daily blog post. In this month I’m particularly proud . This is while meeting the three regular segments, Game Pile, MTG, and Story Pile.
I’m really happy with the t-shirt design for this month too. It’s called ALL DOGS ARE COMMUNISTS, and you can get it on Redbubble and Teepublic. Redbubble stickers are pretty cheap if you like the design but don’t want to ship, like, a shirt.
I did this design in a day, and it’s my first really proud-of-it-proper piece of art done entirely with my tablet, rather than using vectors to define a clear outline. I hope you like this comrade doggo and they brighten your day.
Game launched? Burning Daylight, here at Invincible Ink and DriveThruCards! It’s a hand management game where you get to control your own little gang of grungy solarpunk heroes, against a fascist city that seeks to assert its way on a world that doesn’t want them any more!
Burning Daylight marks three milestones. One, it’s a game I consider substantial. Several of our games are designed to be lightweight and fun, like Foxtail or C-QNS or even Winston’s Archive. Burning Daylight is a game with some lore and a multi-turn system for playing and advanced rules. I wanted to make sure that we weren’t just releasing the easier types of games to make, but instead releasing a good mix. Basically, I want to make sure we release a few Fabricators and Sector 86 along with our simpler games.
Secondary to that, it’s just a game I’ve been working on a while and iterated on a lot. I’m going to do a history of the design for Patreon (which will be posted here, for free), because it seems to me an interesting project.
And third, it’s one of the first games I’ve made where I could afford to pay both for the game’s art (which is Stock) but also for consultancy fees, and send promotional copies out! This was enabled in part by you, on Patreon, so thank you so much.
Making video was another one, which I fulfilled early in the month; another episode about Magic: The Gathering.
As always, this work is being financed, in part by my Patreon! Over there, we did our first Bundle Sale and I floated the idea of making a simple ‘game a month’ tier, where for, like, $15 or $20, depending on how shipping costs work out, I just send you a game each month. We’re still feeling it out, but please, feel free to become part of the conversation.
On a personal life front, well, I had some medical woes, and some payment woes, but I’ve also now got some work at the Uni that seems to fit with my like, life schedule really well, and kind of uniquely needs my skillset of ‘check this thing out, can you make it work, and then tell us how we can make it work.’ That’s pretty neat. I’ve also been teaching, and I love doing that.
I did get some news about my diet, which is more embarassing than anything else (ie, ‘don’t eat all the pasta’, and other stuff I should know already), and I hung out with my family some more. I’m taking care of myself.
Also this is the first month I’ve had lately where I haven’t been itching for the next month’s game release. We might have a simpler game up next, or maybe we’ll have a surprise that comes out of nowhere. I don’t know. We’ll see!
Game launched? Winston’s Archive, here at Invincible Ink and DriveThruCards! It’s a two-plus player drafting game where you’re both sorting books, full of silly joke book titles!
I really like Winston’s Archive because rather than use the drafting as part of some greater, more complicated play of the game, the game is the drafting. It’s also a useful system to understand, and taught me a lot about distribution in games and catch-up mechanisms. You should check it out!
Video? Episode 7 of Making Fun went up! Episode 8 will be coming, hopefully, and we’ll talk about some mechanics.
I launched my Patreon! This is a way you, the people who enjoy this work, can kick me a dollar or two a month in exchange for more content. This is a way you can request Micropodcasts, and partake in bundle sales, which I’m still getting a handle on.
In this month I also started some casual work for the uni (after some paperwork snafus, which led to more paperwork snafus), shifted my PhD to part-time, started to work on teaching game making at the uni, and spent more time with my family.
Hey folks! Do you like the stuff I do? Do you like that I write about games, Magic: the Gathering, media and everything else? Do you like my guides on how to make your own games, or terminology in games that we don’t use well? Do you want to give me guidance on stuff you want to hear me talk about? Do you want to buy some of our games, but find the shipping costs or the schedule intimidating? Do you want to see me do more podcasting and video stuff? Well, I have some great news for you, because you can now directly incentivise my work and consider yourself invested in it directly, thanks to a Patreon!
My intention is still to make as much of my work free as possible – if I use the Patreon as a content footing, it will be almost entirely for early releases or the sort of miscellaneous poll-or-feedback kind of questions I sometimes use Twitter for. I’m charging it per month rather than per product, and will include such things as group sales and bundle rates for our games.
So please, check it out, and if you can’t afford it, don’t worry about it! If you don’t want to do it, because you think I’m not worth paying for, well, dang, hurtful, jeeze. What’d I do to you? Unless you’re Ryan ██████, I know why you have it out for me.
Let’s mark out some clear, distinct, achievable goals.
One completed game design a month.
One t-shirt design a month.
Daily blog posts, with weekly entries for:
a Magic The Gathering article
a Game Pile article
a Story Pile article
A video a month
That seems doable to me. What makes this complicated, though is that I’m also going to be doing a PhD. So… that might transform my workload. We’ll have to see.
So why do I bring this up? Well, first, laying it out like this is a good way to make sure I have a plan. I’ve found making something of what I do accountable is important. The other thing is, I’m going to spend January looking into launching a Patreon, which will be about:
work-in-progress stuff on game designs
group sales of games where if I can get 20~ people interested, I’ll send out bulk copies of games without postage
voting and contributions directly on future game content
raising money to hire artists!
There. That’s it. Stated. A plan.
I can’t necessarily weasel out of this easily. Weasily? We’ll see.
I had a whole month of writing planned about December, which has all just been bumped to January. I don’t think anyone’s going to be spending their December trying hard to crack some personal puzzle about how to make paper look torn, or looking for a project that’s just waiting for the right artist to bring it to life.
In this month, we’re going to continue Game Pile, weekly TV and weekly MTG articles, as normal – but in the intervening days? It’s all going to be me telling you about something a friend does that I think is cool. No long-form articles or big goofy work, just sincere, honest appreciation for the work of people I love.